A Nations Drs Dramas and Delusions
By Dr. Ato Kwamena Danso · 9 January 2026 · Politics
As we tiptoe into 2026, the Republic is humming with a bizarre blend of football ecstasy and economic heartbreak. Yes, Ghana qualified for the World Cup in the USA, Canada, and Mexico but the joy evaporated faster than the Cedi on a Monday morning. FIFA, in its boundless “kindness,” expanded the tournament by 16 teams, then immediately balanced that generosity by pricing tickets as though they were selling seats on a private shuttle to Jupiter. Ghanaians are now engaged in a nationwide brainstorming session on how to cross the Atlantic, with some wondering whether selling a kidney qualifies as a “strategic financial instrument.” At this point, even the black market is asking us to calm down. While we were busy calculating airfare with the precision of a WAEC examiner marking scripts at midnight, the world was jolted by the dramatic “importation” of Venezuela’s President Maduro, his wife, and their Attorney General to the United States. Before anyone could even whisper “geopolitics,” our very own Honorable Ablakwa sprinted to the global stage with an “open statement” on Ghana’s position. Osagyefo, the letter was so limp it could have doubled as a bookmark in a children’s storybook. There is real danger in poking our noses into high-voltage American legal matters; one misplaced syllable and the US might simply announce, “No visas for Ghanaians,” and that will be the end of our Miami pilgrimage. Someone needs to gently remind the young man of the immortal words of the late Prof. Mills during the Gbagbo saga: Di wo fie asem. We are trying to go and watch football, not audition for a role in a Latin American coup documentary. But if you thought that was the comedic peak, allow me to introduce Dr. Stephen Amoah. A man with a PhD in Actuarial Science a credential he wears like a bulletproof vest in a neighbourhood where no one is shooting. In his attempt to support his preferred candidate in the NPP primary, he delivered a monologue so chaotic it could qualify as experimental theatre. He proudly declared that he is one of only five people on Earth who have cracked a mysterious financial-economic model from 1964. A model so complex that even the global experts who never asked about it are still baffled. Truly, the world is ungrateful. This is the same Dr. Amoah who, in 2019, faced questions about procurement breaches involving 1.1 million cedis paid to an audit firm to investigate whether his predecessor had misused 2 million cedis. In essence, he spent 1 million to find 2 million a financial strategy so innovative it deserves its own TED Talk. When the court asked if he should be held responsible, he delivered a “Yes and No” answer that plunged the room into philosophical crisis. His economic model seems to explain everything except how to give a straight answer or survive a media interview without turbulence. When confronted with the tape, Dr. Amoah claimed “doctoring,” while performing some surgical-grade wordplay of his own. For a man who usually has an answer for everything, he suddenly seemed very busy tiptoeing around the facts. It was less an explanation and more a linguistic interpretive dance the kind that makes judges stare into the distance and reconsider their career choices.A man of such rare brilliance should not be lobbying to be a minister in a country of barely 30 million people. He should be in Washington, marching straight into the IMF headquarters to demand his rightful position as Managing Director. After all, why settle for Ghana’s budget when you can supervise the entire planet’s? And in a twist that surprised absolutely no one, word has reached us that the former Finance Minister has been “scouted” by ICE agents in America. It appears my suspicion was correct: the gentleman’s travel plans were strictly one-way. And honestly, can we blame him for preferring an American holding cell over a Ghanaian greeting party? After witnessing Chairman Wontumi lose 50 pounds in a record-breaking 24-hour security-service fitness retreat, the Minister clearly decided he wasn’t ready for that kind of “body transformation.” So long, Ato KD