The Gospel According to Ebo: Sacks and the Takoradi Ark
By Dr. Ato Kwamena Danso · 2 January 2026 · Culture
Just when we thought the Republic had reached its quota for spiritual drama, a new "Noah" has emerged from the shores of Takoradi to test our faith and our patience. Meet Eshun, popularly known as Ebo, a man who has traded his online shoe business for a wardrobe of sacks and a mission to save us from a watery grave. Ebo’s journey into the "ark-itectural" business began in May 2023, following a birthday thanksgiving service. Apparently, the Almighty decided that a cake and a song weren't enough, so He gave Ebo a dream about torrential rainfall and a stern command: "Build an ark, for the people must change." Now, Osagyefo, Ebo admits he was a bit of a Jonah at first; he missed his deadlines in May 2023 and September 2024. But like a true Ghanaian contractor, he simply requested an extension. He now claimed the world will end on December 25th, though, in a masterstroke of ambiguity, he hasn't specified which year. When the relentless Code Mickey pressed him on his failed track record, Ebo insisted this is not a prophecy but a revelation, a distinction that apparently makes all the difference when your predictions don't quite hit the mark. Since August 2025, the revelations have been coming thick and fast, leading him to the Tarkwa forest to harvest wood. He claims to have employed 20 workers to build 10 arks. However, when you look at the "arks" in question, they look suspiciously like the regular fishing boats scattered along the Takoradi coast. In fact, the "Aha!" moment seems to have happened while Ebo was walking along the beach. He saw some boats, claimed them for the Lord in his mind, and started filming. The actual owners of the boats, who are more interested in tilapia than the apocalypse, were not informed of their new status as "Ark Co-Founders" and have since threatened to give Ebo a physical "revelation" of their own if he doesn't leave their property alone. When questioned about how these small boats could possibly hold the population of Ghana, Ebo offered the ultimate spiritual insurance policy: "When the time comes, the boat will carry the people." It’s the kind of logic that only works if the laws of physics are also on a New Year’s resolution break. Despite this, he claims to be receiving calls and prayer requests from all over the world. The state, however, is not convinced by Ebo’s apparent nautical engineering. He has been arrested and remanded to the Pantang Psychiatric Hospital for a "mental evaluation." But here is the irony, Osagyefo: if the rains come in June and July and the usual flooding wreaks havoc in Accra, Ebo will be hailed as a victor. If people perish in the floods, God forbid, Eshun in his sacks will look less like a patient at Pantang and more like a misunderstood pioneer. Perhaps instead of evaluating Ebo’s head, the government should evaluate our drainage systems. If the state worked as hard on flooding as Ebo does on his "revelations," we wouldn't need an online shoe-seller in a sack to tell us we’re in deep water. So long, Ato KD